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Grief is a natural response to loss, and it often brings a complex mix of emotions. In the context of medical assistance in dying (MAID), feelings of grief may begin before the death occurs and can unfold while navigating a health care process that’s unfamiliar to many people. Even if you’ve experienced loss before, each experience is different. It’s normal to have a wide range of feelings at every stage of the process.
Types of grief
Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief is the grief we experience before a loss occurs. You may feel it when receiving a diagnosis with a life-limiting health condition, when your health care treatment reaches a new milestone, or when someone important to you is going through these experiences.
In a survey of people who lost a loved one through MAID, 93% said they experienced anticipatory grief while their person was dying. Visit the Booklet Library to download and explore printable materials related to MAID – including grief.
Ambiguous grief
Ambiguous grief stems from lack of closure or resolution in a loss. This can occur when learning that someone important to you has died, particularly if you didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.
Disenfranchised grief
Disenfranchised grief is grief that may not be fully recognized, understood, or acknowledged by others. Some people affected by MAID may feel reluctant to talk openly about their loss or uncertain about how others will respond. If you find yourself avoiding conversations about your experience or you feel isolated in your grief, you could be feeling disenfranchised grief.
Complicated grief
Complicated grief occurs in cases where other factors make our experience more intense or stressful. This can include having a difficult relationship with the person who is dying, grieving in the midst of intense caregiving responsibilities, or other stressors like financial, job, or relationship problems.
Key things to know about grief
It’s more than sadness
Many people expect grief to feel sad, but it can be far more surprising and complex. The process of losing someone can bring up a wide range of emotions, from anger, guilt, or anxiety, to calm, gratitude, or peace.
Grief symptoms can be physical
In times of loss, grief can show up physically as well as emotionally.
You may experience:
- fatigue
- body aches or tightness
- difficulty sleeping
- headaches or migraines
- changes in appetite or digestion
- decreased immunity
- trouble concentrating
- difficulties with daily tasks
It’s unique to you
Everyone experiences grief differently. Your culture, beliefs about death and dying, and past experiences with loss can all shape how you understand and express your grief.
It can feel isolating
It’s common to receive insensitive advice or support from well-intentioned friends, family members, or others, or to feel pressured to return to your normal routines and responsibilities right away. It can help to seek support from people you trust who have been through a similar experience.
There’s no set timeline
Many people wonder how long grief will last, or hope for a day when they suddenly feel “back to normal.” You may always miss the person you’ve lost, but over time, many people gradually adjust to life without their person.
The first year: A snapshot
The first year after a death can be especially challenging. This overview highlights some common ways that grief can unfold over time.
Early days and weeks
In the first days and weeks, many people focus on practical tasks like making arrangements, while spending time with family and friends. It’s common to move through this period on autopilot, with emotions that shift quickly—shock, numbness, sadness, exhaustion, or even moments of peace or relief. Sleep and energy levels may be disrupted, and the reality of the loss may begin to settle in.
First few months
As daily routines begin to return, the absence of the person can feel more noticeable. You may be adjusting to changes in your day-to-day life, especially if you were closely involved in their care. Emotions can remain strong or unpredictable, including sadness, loneliness, guilt, or moments of calm. You may also experience intrusive memories or find the loss feeling more real over time.
Over time
Gradually, many people begin to regain a sense of rhythm and reconnect with aspects of daily life. While grief doesn’t disappear, it may feel less intense, with more space for moments of stability, meaning, or even joy. Milestones like anniversaries can still bring strong emotions, but over time, many people find ways to carry the loss while continuing to move forward.
Things that may help
Take care of basic needs
Try to sleep and eat regularly, and exercise when you can. Even a short walk or gentle stretching can help you feel more emotionally steady.
Stay connected with others
Reach out to people you trust. If you need support, or if support is offered, let others know what would be most helpful for you.
Make space for your feelings
Everyone expresses grief differently. Talking, journaling, drawing, or simply sitting with your emotions can help you process what you’re experiencing.
Give yourself time
There is no rush to “move on.” Grief follows its own rhythm, and it’s okay to take the time you need.
Consider counselling or support
It can help to talk with a professional such as a therapist, social worker, healthcare provider, or a leader in your faith community. Peer support groups can also help you connect with others who have gone through similar experiences.
Find MAID-specific and general grief and bereavement supports in the Support Directory or ask your health care team to recommend resources or groups in your community.
Seek professional grief support if you notice
difficulty managing daily tasks (school, work, relationships)
ongoing depression or withdrawal
long-lasting changes in sleep, appetite or concentration
substance use, self-harm or risky behaviour
suicidal thoughts or feelings—call or text 988 for support any time, toll-free.