Living with the knowledge that someone important in your life is dying can be difficult. It can bring a mix of emotions – some expected, others less so – and those feelings may shift from day to day.
This page offers ideas to help you navigate this time in a way that feels right for you.
Relationships are often complex, and so is the experience of losing someone. Not all relationships are entirely positive, and many include a mix of connection, history, and unresolved feelings.
Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay
There is no single way to respond when someone you care about or are connected to is dying. You may feel sadness, fear, anger, numbness, or even moments of calm or clarity.
For more on the range of emotional responses that can arise, see Common Feelings and Grief and MAID.
If a person you care about chooses MAID
Medical assistance in dying (MAID) is a unique experience because the date of death is known in advance.
Depending on how you feel, this can offer an opportunity to be intentional about how you spend your remaining time together, or how you prepare for the day itself.
Considering your needs and wishes
You may find it helpful to reflect on what would feel meaningful for you during this time.
Topics to explore might include:
- how you would like to spend time together
- anything you feel you need or want to say
- how you would like to say goodbye
Making the most of your remaining time together
There are many ways to support the person who is dying and to stay connected in the time you have together. What this looks like will depend on your relationship, your capacity, and your circumstances.
You might consider:
- offering practical support with daily tasks or planning
- helping with legacy or memory-making activities
- supporting the primary caregiver, if that role is held by someone else
- spending time together in ways that feel meaningful
Being present for the death
If you plan to be present at the time of death, you may wish to think about what will help you feel prepared.
Some people focus on offering quiet presence or physical comfort, such as holding a hand. Others think ahead about what they might want to say or simply allow the moment to unfold without planning.
Immediately after the death, you might consider spending a few quiet moments with your person, either on your own or with others.
If you can’t be present
Not everyone is able to be present at the time of death. This can be for many reasons, and it does not diminish the importance of your relationship with the person who died
You might still find ways to connect, such as:
- arranging a phone or video call
- writing a letter
- recording a message to be shared
Taking care of yourself after the death
After a loss, your needs may shift. It can take time to process what has happened.
You might consider:
- focusing on basic physical needs, such as rest, food, and movement
- creating a small personal ritual
- staying connected with others who knew the person you lost
Learning from others
You might find it helpful to hear from others who have experienced MAID. Watch their stories.
