Grief does not follow a set timeline. As life continues along without the person who died, your relationship with them may also change. Some days their presence may feel close, while other days they may feel more remote.
Some people find comfort in carrying aspects of the person they lost with them – through memory, ritual, and conversation. This page offers ideas you might explore as you find your own ways of remembering the person you lost.
Immediately after the death, you might consider spending a few quiet moments with your person, either on your own or with others.
Major Holidays
Holidays can be especially difficult after a loss. They may bring up strong emotions or highlight the absence of someone who used to be a big part of those moments.
Some people choose to keep their traditions the same, while others make small changes or take a break from celebrations altogether. If you have a sense of what might help you get through these moments, plan ahead. Let people know what you need – and what you don’t need – around the holidays. And give yourself permission to rethink your approach year by year.
Anniversaries
Dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, or the anniversary of a death can carry particular weight.
Some people choose to mark these days intentionally. You might want to spend time in a meaningful place, connect with others who knew the person, or set aside quiet time to reflect. There is no right or wrong way to approach these important moments.
Small rituals
Simple, everyday rituals can help create an ongoing sense of connection. These might be private or shared, structured or informal.
Examples might include:
- lighting candles around the person’s picture on special occasions
- planting a garden or tree in the person’s memory
- creating a memory box with photos, letters, and keepsakes
- making a memory quilt with pieces of the person’s clothing
- burning tobacco
- giving gifts to people who helped the person when they were ill
- giving gifts or keepsakes to members of the person’s family
Cultural or religious traditions
Cultural and religious practices can offer structure and meaning after a loss. These traditions may provide ways to honour the person who has died, connect with their spiritual community, or make sense of grief within a broader framework.
You may find comfort in continuing these traditions, adapting them, or exploring new ones that feel meaningful to you.
Create a new family tradition
Some people find it helpful to create a new family tradition that reflects the loss of someone important while also acknowledging the need to gather as a group.
This might include:
- gathering regularly to share a meal or catch up
- marking certain days in a new way or a different place
- planning an annual family activity in your person’s honour
Volunteering
Some people find that it can feel meaningful to give their time or energy to a cause connected to the person they lost.
This might include supporting an organization that reflects the person’s values, contributing to a community they cared about, or helping others who are going through a similar experience.
For some people, helping others navigate end-of-life choice, loss, or medical assistance in dying (MAID) can be a way to honour the person who died, while also creating a sense of purpose and connection. If you're considering volunteer work, it may help to give yourself time to adjust to your own loss before supporting others.
Organizations like MAID Family Support Society and Bridge C-14 connect people navigating MAID or grieving a loss with other people who have been through it. In Toronto and Victoria, MAiDHouse supports people eligible for MAID by providing a compassionate, dignified space for end-of-life care, alongside emotional, logistical, and community-based support.
Dying With Dignity Canada offers volunteer opportunities within its education, support, and advocacy work. Learn more at Dying With Dignity Canada.
This may not feel right for everyone. If it does, explore what feels manageable and meaningful to you at your own pace.
Hear what other people have done
Hearing how others remember and stay connected to their loved ones can offer ideas, reassurance, or a sense of shared experience.
Following the death of his wife, Doug keeps her memory close by providing special care to plants she loved. Watch this story about Doug’s journey through loss.
Relationships can be complicated
Not all relationships are simple, and not all memories are positive. Alongside love and connection, the death of someone you care about may also bring anger, regret, disappointment, or other unresolved feelings. These responses are a common part of grief and loss experiences.
Asking for help
If difficult emotions feel overwhelming, it can help to speak with a friend or family member or seek professional help. You can explore resources in the Support Directory.
